The existence of beer has been documented in ancient Chinese, Egyptian and Mesopotamian civilizations, dating as far back as 9500 BC. But dad beer dates back to the ‘70s.

That’s when your old man started drinking Schlitz, Blatz and other obscure brands that ended with z’s.

At the time, kegs were only beginning to catch on and bottles and cans were still the way to go. You can bet your dad and his friends tailgated outside hockey games in your uncle’s wood-panel Volkswagen hippie van and polished off a twofer of Pabst Blue Ribbon back when PBR wasn’t hipster alcohol.

He may never admit it, but your dad could also shotgun with the best of ‘em. His share of the liquid gold was gone before the first solo of Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” came through the eight-track player.

And you know that game 99 bottles of beer on the wall? He invented it.

Your dad laid the foundation for beer pong, kegstands and Animal House-style fraternizing – all while double fisting bottles of Carlsberg. Heck, he was the inspiration for the most interesting man in the world.

Nowadays, he may very well still drink Bass or Hacker-Pschorr if he can still find them at the liquor store. Sure, he also tried Budweiser, Coors and Miller Genuine Draft as a young man, but those aren’t the classic beers he loved.

He doesn’t care about the “wassup” ad campaign. He wants to stock his mini fridge with that smooth, refreshing, easy-drinking taste he had when he was your age – and he won’t settle for light beer.

You may have never heard of his favourite lager, but from the way he tells you about it, you know it puts your cervezas and silver bullets to shame.

Or, maybe you’ve tried any of these relic beverages and scowled at the fermented aftertaste. That just means you’re either used to crappy beer or haven’t had a man’s beer before.

It’s an acquired taste, so acquire some taste, pick up a six-pack of Spaten and have a drink with your dad in his shag-carpeted rec room. (Because his old-time watering hole is probably a Walmart now.)

But while some bands from that time are still truckin’, some have almost no hope of ever returning. Keep your fingers crossed as you go through this list of bands that may never reunite.

5. The Kinks

Since the band’s break-up in 1996, the Kinks have flip-flopped on the possibility of a reunion.

The deciding factor seems to be whether brothers Ray and Dave Davies can get along. Their sibling rivalry has been the major reason the Kinks haven’t had another run.

With popular songs like “You Really Got Me”, “All Day and All of the Night” and “Lola”, there’s no shortage of reunion requests, but both brothers have turned down the opportunity. After spending more than 30 years together in a band, it seems they can’t spend anymore.

4. Pink Floyd

At 2005′s Live 8, the classic line-up of Rogers Waters, David Gilmour, Richard Wright and Nick Mason took the stage for the first time in over 24 years.

Sadly, nothing came of that one-off experience – yet. A Pink Floyd reunion has been rumoured for decades, but aside from Live 8, the band has yet to reform. The demand is there: Waters has embarked on two successful tours featuring Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall, with a second leg of the latter added on.

Out of this list, Floyd probably have the highest likelihood of getting back together. Just hope that it’s not when pigs fly.

3. Guns N’ Roses

If you ask Axl Rose, he’d say GNR is still together, but the Appetite for Destruction or Use Your Illusion line-ups are the ones most fans want: Slash, Duff McKagan, Izzy Stradlin, and Steven Adler or Matt Sorum.

Current keyboardist Dizzy Reed has spent more time in GNR than any member other than Rose, making him the second-longest standing band member. Yet demand for an original (or close to original) reunion has been high for years. Fans patiently waited out Chinese Democracy, but how long can they wait for Slash and Rose to kiss and make up?

There’s a slight chance that the Guns N’ Roses will reunite – or, at least, talk about it – at their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in April.

2. Led Zeppelin

Technically, Zeppelin reunited for one night only at the Ahmet Ertegün Tribute Concert in December 2007. Robert Plant has since repeatedly dismissed rumours of a reunion with Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and the late John Bonham’s son, Jason. He has opted to continue recording solo albums and touring with the Band of Joy, adding that he can no longer hit all the same notes that he could in the ’70s.

Shortly after the tribute show, Plant said in an interview, “Everything’s got to be right [for a Led Zeppelin]. The whole thing about Led Zeppelin was it was so beautifully haphazard.” If the group can somehow regain the essence Plant described, that’s the one non-earthly element needed for a shot at a world tour.

1. ABBA

Even though the Swedish pop sensation ABBA were only together for a decade, the band has long-standing mainstream success, selling 375 million records worldwide. But now, 30 years removed from the limelight without a reunion, it’s looking less and less likely that Agnetha, Benny, Björn and Anni-Frid will perform on the same stage again.

In 2000, ABBA reportedly turned down $1 billion for a 100-show reunion tour. Divided between the four of them, that would have been $2.5 million per person nightly.

Björn Ulvaeus told a UK newspaper that there will never be a reunion. Benny Andersson currently performs with his own orchestra, Anni-Frid has taken up environmental causes and Agnetha Fältskog was, for some time, a social recluse. With the four of them content in their current activities, it seems none of them will take a chance on ABBA.

With every new year, there’s a new year’s resolution to be made and subsequently broken.

No one is good at keeping their resolutions, your dad included. But the new year is his second, third, 16th chance to a) lose weight b) eat healthier or c) finally build that backyard deck your mother’s been nagging him about since their honeymoon.

Our family has never been one to make new year’s resolutions. It’s like creating a one-item to-do list that takes a year to cross off.

With the end so far from sight, how can anyone expect your dad to stick to his workout regimen or dirt-flavoured diet? There’s no time for using the Shake Weight or calorie counting between his 40-hour-per-week job, his regular around-the-house chores and his crime drama reruns.

Your dad might be like my dad, in that he sets smaller goals for himself throughout the year. He’ll change his eating habits/exercise routine/hygiene slightly to reach short-term achievements.

Let’s face it: your dad can only handle so much of something at a time. He’s old, and he’s not meant to try P90X or Insanity. If unstacking the dishwasher is an accomplishment to him, let him have his moment.

That’s not to say he should get off that easy for his new year’s resolution. If your dad’s been resolving to do something bigger like get in better shape, give him a kick in the pants and be his coach, the same way he probably coached your hockey team, baseball practice or child beauty pageant.

Deep down, your dad really does want to get his resolution done—he just doesn’t want to adjust his lifestyle. Dare him to finish the resolution he’s been working on since before you were born, and if he reaches that far, dare him to start another in 2013.

It’s a clean slate for resolution do-overs. Sure, your dad’s resolution may be as old as you, but it doesn’t have to be. Two decades is long enough to put something off.

And while you’re at it, get him to finish building that deck before your mom starts asking you to do it.

• Gaming Needs:
  Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD Soundtrack
• Gaming Needs:
  Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD Levels

In December, Activision unveiled the trailer for the upcoming Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD, taking select levels from the first two Hawk installments. Instead of porting the games as PSOne Classics and Xbox Originals, they’re trying to take the then-fresh gameplay, pretty it up, throw in some trophies and achievements and see how it sells.

Obviously, the Birdman himself will be a playable character, but the series has had tons of notable pros grace the select skater screen. Here are 10 who should make return appearances in THPSHD:

Bob Burnquist

Aside from his absence in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 due to his one-off appearance in ESPN X Games Skateboarding, Bob Burnquist has been a mainstay throughout the series. As one of the premiere X Games competitors in the late ’90s and early ’00s, Burnquist has skillfully filled highlight reels with loop-de-loops, a fakie-to-fakie 900 and his entire final vert run at X Games VII. (The Staples Center comes unglued, but his board just sticks to his feet.) To deny gamers the Burntwist and the Samba Flip as signature moves would be a worse crime than skating on the grass.

Bucky Lasek

Lasek hasn’t always been the top skater in his field, but his longevity in the sport is nothing to discard. The Baltimore native holds the highest in-competition X Games vert score with a 98.5 from X Games VI (and he gave Bob a run for his money the following year). Having been in many of the early Hawk games, he’s overdue to be included in another one, and THPSHD is the best one going around. No one else will be able to do all those Rodeos, McTwists and Frontside 540s.

Rodney Mullen

Opting for the streets over the halfpipe, Mullen is the king of flatland. (If you have not seen him skate, open a new tab and search for a video.) Mullen is an inhuman force, somehow manipulating his skateboard to shapeshift to manuals, primos, caspers, truckstands, pogos and handstands. There is no reason to exclude him from THPSHD.

Mike Vallely

When he’s not chasing down purse snatchers, wrestling professionally, singing lead vocals in a punk band or shirtlessly taking on four guys outside of a 7-11, Mike V. skates professionally. He’s the true definition of hardcore, the kind of guy who will bail a trick and break his arm, then get up, dust himself off and try again. It took a while for Vallely to make it into the THPS series, but with all that aggro pushing and an arsenal that includes the 540 Boneless, he has to be skating himself back into the character lineup.

Chad Muska

Muska is such a cartoony person, one might think he’s a bonus character made up by Neversoft. But he’s a real skater, and he’s real(ly) good. There isn’t one gamer who wouldn’t want to see Muska back for more rollercoaster transfers and hubba grinds. He’s been in every Tony Hawk game except Shred, but that’s no reason to keep him out of THPSHD. The guy noseslid the rail at the White Rock skatepark with a boombox under his arm for his video part in Shorty’s 1999 release, Fulfill the Dream. Props.

Jamie Thomas

While not a very outspoken skater, Jamie Thomas is one of the THPS originals, best known for the Iron Maiden-scored Welcome to Hell video from 1996 and the Leap of Faith. You can’t just go to the School II with any ol’ skater and acid drop from that high up–you need Thomas’ balls of steel.

Steve Caballero

Another legend of skateboarding, Caballero is the originator of the Caballerial (Fakie Backside 360) and was in four of the first five Hawk titles. He’s inspired a lot of skaters who grew up while he competed in throughout the ’80s, and out of respect for those before us, let’s save him a spot in HD.

Christian Hosoi

Hosoi is yet another of vert skating’s biggest early pushers. He gained notoriety by skating in the ’80s–he invented the Christ Air–and infamy by using drugs in the ’90s. Now clean, sober and Christian, Hosoi has more support than ever from the skating community. His debut was in 2006′s dismal Tony Hawk’s Project 8. Give him an opportunity to reappear in a better title. Please.

Bam Margera

Odds are, if you don’t skate and you’ve heard of Margera, you know him from MTV’s Jackass. While Bam doesn’t skate competitively (he makes more money from MTV and his sponsorship with Element), he’s a popular skater in the series. (And he’s a darn good skater, too.) It’s more unlikely that he won’t be included–he’s just that beloved. I wouldn’t count on him or CKY’s music jumping ship to Skate, so bank on this one.

Nyjah Huston

He’s only 17 years old, but Nyjah Huston earned more money from three contests than most people do in a year. The three-stop Street League champion and X Games medalist has been outskating similarly aged rivals like Ryan Sheckler and Chaz Ortiz, which puts him in the running to be THPSHD‘s top youngster. He’s a prodigy, and he deserves just as much recognition as his influences.

Notable Encore-Worthy Bonus Skaters and Celebrity Guests:

• [THPS] Officer Dick, Private Carrera
• [THPS2] Ollie the Bum
• [THPS4] Eddie (the mascot of Iron Maiden), Boba Fett
• [THAW] Billie Joe Armstrong (lead singer of Green Day)
• [THP8] Travis Barker (drummer of blink-182)
• [THR] Kat Von D