Jacob Zinn :: journalist + photographer

Tour Alert: Aerosmith & Cheap Trick Global Warming Tour

Posted in Classic Rock, Music by Jacob Zinn on March 28, 2012

JUN
16
Minneapolis, MN
Target Center
JUN
19
Cleveland, OH
Quicken Loans Arena
JUN
22
Chicago, IL
United Center
JUN
27
Toronto, ON
Air Canada Centre
JUL
01
Uniondale, NY
Nassau Coliseum
JUL
03
Bristow, VA
Jiffy Lube Live
JUL
05
Detroit, MI
The Palace of Auburn Hills
JUL
07
Milwaukee, WI
Marcus Amphitheater, Summerfest
JUL
17
Boston, MA
TD Garden
JUL
21
Philadelphia, PA
Wells Fargo Center
JUL
24
East Rutherford, NJ
IZOD Center
JUL
26
Atlanta, GA
Philips Arena
JUL
28
Dallas, TX
American Airlines Center
JUL
30
Houston, TX
Toyota Center
AUG
01
Denver, CO
Pepsi Center
AUG
04
Oakland, CA
Oracle Arena
AUG
06
Los Angeles, CA
Hollywood Bowl
AUG
08
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Dome

Get out the sunscreen – this’ll be one scorcher of a summer tour.

Aerosmith will heat up U.S. audiences this June, July and August on their aptly named Global Warming tour.

“The old Aerosmith is back with a new vengeance,” said frontman Steven Tyler.

Following a string of sold-out shows in South America, the Bad Boys from Boston announced their first return to North America since 2010. They’ve scheduled 17 dates in the U.S. and one in Canada.

The hard-rocking five-piece will be supported by Illinois rockers Cheap Trick, a band that was to accompany Aerosmith on the third leg of the Rockin’ the Joint Tour in 2005 until Tyler required throat surgery.

The first leg of the tour starts in Minneapolis and wraps up in Tacoma. Tickets for most shows go on sale this weekend through Ticketmaster and Live Nation.


Stuff Your Dad Likes: Power Ballads

Posted in Classic Rock, Heavy Metal, Music, Stuff Your Dad Likes by Jacob Zinn on February 7, 2012
Jacob Zinn can’t give you fatherly advice, but he can eat your girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day candy.

You know it’s coming up soon. That one day per year when you’re either in love and affectionate or you’re lonely and miserable: Valentine’s Day.

With February the 14th approaching, couples young and old are giving each other flowers, planning romantic evenings and buying lubricant by the bottle. While you might be courting someone with chocolate and roses, your dad may’ve courted your mom with power ballads.

Extreme’s “More Than Words”. Mötley Crüe’s “Home Sweet Home”. Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”. The sole purpose of these songs was to get into women’s pants. Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” may be the sappiest, most cliché power ballad of the era, but it opened a lot of… opportunities.

There’s a good chance you might have been conceived to one of these songs.

However, odds are your dad had better taste in power ballads than the hair metal ones. Aerosmith’s “What It Takes” or “Angel” might’ve been rotating on his record player.

Or maybe he was more upfront with sexually explicit and implicit songs like Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” or AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”. Perhaps he traded Warrant’s “Heaven” for a slice of that sweet “Cherry Pie”. (Oh yeah!)

Either way, power ballads got him laid. He may not like power ballads, but the down-tempo, three-chord, lyricized high school love notes were saturated with just enough passion to bring star-crossed lovers together. And if your parents got married in the late ‘80s, you can bet someone requested “I’ll Be There for You” by Bon Jovi at their wedding.

Now that power ballads are often only played as joke songs at weddings and karaoke nights, they’re no longer the genre of choice for bedding mates.

But your dad doesn’t know that. If he digs out his crate of vinyl records from the basement, it might be to set the tone of the evening.

Whether or not you have a date on Valentine’s Day, I highly suggest that you make plans to go out and stay out past curfew until you’re certain both of your parents are asleep. You’ll thank me later.


Top 5 Cock Rock Frontmen

Posted in Classic Rock, Music, Top 5 by Jacob Zinn on September 27, 2011

It was the early ’70s. The hippie counter-culture was on its way out and all that was left to do was popularize cock rock for the next several decades.

The name of the genre refers to the bulge in the tight pants of rockstars–a bulge responsible for the bedding of plethoras of groupies. A prominent resurgence three decades ago saw peace, love and music make way for sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll; women walked this way for Steven Tyler and teachers were hot for David Lee Roth.

Related Articles

While cock rock climaxed in the ’80s, this list looks at the forefathers of the genre, the ground-breaking lyricists who made in-your-face, pelvis-thrusting crotch shots not only mainstream, but the norm.

5. Paul Stanley of KISS

Stanley can be credited with bringing cock rock moves to the oversexed genres of glam rock and hair metal. KISS had always worn tight leather pants, but as the frontman, Stanley was the only member to use it to his advantage. Gene Simmons might’ve had the tongue, but Stanley had the balls… to flash his cod-pieced Love Gun to the crowd.

4. Roger Daltry of The Who

There perhaps is no better a display of cock rock than The Who’s 4:00 a.m. performance from Woodstock ’69. Daltry shakes his wild locks during parts of “My Generation” and “Pinball Wizard”, with low angles complementing his protrusion. Whether it’s real or not, groupies of the time might or might not say they won’t get fooled again.

3. Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones

Arguably the first to introduce the moves, Jagger is a prominent sex symbol of the time, known for shuffling his hips during songs like “Honky Tonk Woman”. With allegedly countless love-children, Jagger proved that these moves work, creating a legion of followers who want the same pants as those on the cover of Sticky Fingers.

2. Jim Morrison of The Doors

The Doors’ music may not have been as sexual as their peers, but Morrison’s onstage performances left little to the imagination of fire-lighting gypsies. While Morrison wasn’t as controversial as Oliver Stone made him out to be in the 1991 biopic, The Doors, he was certainly one of the earliest rockers to use the moves, which surely got him more than a few L.A. women.

1. Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin

Anyone who’s seen the 1976 concert film The Song Remains the Same has witnessed one of the originators in all his long-haired, bare-chested, blue-denim bell-bottom jeaned glory. Plant made every woman in Madison Square Garden sweat and groove with the sway of his hips, putting them in a hypnotic trance. His two-sizes-too-small britches that emphasized his trouser snake made him an icon for cock rock, one that both men and women looked up to (figuratively and literally).

Honourable Mentions

  • Steven Tyler of Aerosmith
  • David Lee Roth of Van Halen
  • Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe
  • Bret Michaels of Poison
  • Sebastian Bach of Skid Row


FOX in talks for Simpsons Channel

Posted in Opinion, The Simpsons, TV & Film by Jacob Zinn on September 18, 2011
I

nstead of Itchy & Scratchy, the Simpsons could soon be watching themselves on their outdated, purple rabbit-ear television.

FOX is reportedly considering launching a 24-hour Simpsons network. Non-stop, ’round-the-clock gut-busting, laugh-out-loud, yellow hilarity–but is there enough for an entire channel dedicated to Homer, Marge and the kids?

Adding Up The Simpsons


22 Seasons on FOX (and counting!)
486 Episodes spanning 178 Hours
15 Seasons on DVD
1000+ Springfieldians
337 Guest Stars as of Season 16
$400,000 Salary of Simpsons voice actors–per episode
27 Primetime Emmys
24 video games from NES to iPhone
2,151st Star on the Walk of Fame
12 7-Eleven’s turned into Kwik-E-Marts
8th -Highest Grossing Film worldwide, taking in $527,068,706
#1 TV Series of the Century as named by TIME magazine


The Simpsons is the longest-running sitcom, animated program and primetime scripted television series in America. With 486 episodes spanning 22 seasons and a full-length feature film, they have a lot to choose from.

The Simpsons is one of those shows that you’ll watch on syndication as you flip channels on a Sunday afternoon, even if you’ve seen it before and you know how the episode ends. But a channel based on reruns that have been rerun for 22 years could get tiresome, and quick.

It would be fascinating to learn the viewership for different episodes; classics from the golden era of seasons three through nine may be the most watched while newer episodes from the last several seasons might plummet in ratings.

It seems obvious that the network would run promotions during different months for holiday-themed episodes: October would run Treehouse of Horror marathons, December would air Christmas and Hanukkah episodes, and specific episodes that coincide with other occasions.

B

ut to stay fresh, the network would need to offer some original programming, like Simpsons documentaries or vignettes with writers, producers and voice actors on their favourite episodes, characters, chalkboard and couch gags, guest stars, et cetera. Off the top of my head, the network could run 30-minute to one-hour specials on:

  • Film Homages: Pulp Fiction, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Graduate, A Clockwork Orange, The Godfather and Indiana Jones (to name a few)
  • Musical Guest Stars: Mick Jagger & Keith Richards, Aerosmith, Michael Jackson, Metallica, NSYNC, Smashing Pumpkins, Ted Nugent, The White Stripes, blink-182
  • Professional Athletes: Joe Nameth, Dennis Rodman, Ken Griffy Jr., Elvis Stojko, Tom Brady, Michelle Kwan, Oscar De La Hoya, Tony Hawk
  • Perfectly Cromulent Words in Pop Culture: D’oh!, meh, embiggen, kwyjibo, cheese-eating surrender monkeys
  • überfans Worldwide: A collection of interviews with self-proclaimed biggest Simpsons fans from around the world.
  • Religion in The Simpsons: A special that explores Ned Flanders’ fundamentalist Christianity, Lisa’s soul-searching Buddhism, Apu’s faithful Hinduism, Krusty’s Jewish upbringing and other beliefs in The Simpsons.

They already have themed DVD releases for Hollywood tributes and religious beliefs, so they wouldn’t have to look very hard to compile these specials.

Groening and the rest of FOX could further break down the subcultures, sociology and psychology of Springfield, even to go so far as to analyze the use of Pavlov’s Theory or the Infinite Monkey Theorem in the show. Heck, they could run a full hour of Homer’s annoyed grunts and still get ratings.

T

he trick here is to appeal to all fans at once. A casual fan who hasn’t seen every episode might watch anything on a Simpsons channel, but someone with Comic Book Guy-level Simpsons fandom might skip newer episodes in favour of “The Lemon Tree” or “22 Short Films About Springfield.”

The Simpsons might be enough to lure viewers in, but at some point, that collection of episodes could rerun itself out. If FOX seriously intends to launch a Simpsons channel, prepare some documentary-style shows filled with interviews and history that will appeal to Frink-type nerds, Wiggum-type simpletons and the Simpson-type typical American family.


HEAVY Rotation: Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”

Posted in Heavy Metal, HEAVY Rotation, Music, Obituaries by Jacob Zinn on August 19, 2011

To most, Warrant is a one-hit wonder like so many ‘80s Sunset Strip glam bands, but despite other hit singles, their innuendo-riddled “Cherry Pie” is the song the band will most be remembered for.

As the story goes, lead singer Jani Lane received a phone call from Columbia Records president Don Ienner leading up to the release of their then-untitled sophomore album. Ienner wanted a rock anthem a la Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator” to be on the record–something that would get copious amounts of radio airplay.

Within fifteen minutes, Lane had written the lyrics to Warrant’s most well-known single–on a pizza box. The song peaked at number 10 on the Billboard Charts and the album of the same name went double-platinum.

But with mainstream success came accusations of selling out. That three-and-a-half minute song overhauled the marketing of their second album and overshadowed other singles like “Heaven” and “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.”

I could shoot myself in the f**king head for writing that song.

Jani Lane
VH1’s HEAVY (2006)

Members of the band didn’t even think it was their best music. In an interview with the VH1 rock doc, HEAVY: The Story of Metal, Lane expressed deep regret for penning the track and giving it to Columbia.

“All of a sudden, the album’s called Cherry Pie, the record’s called Cherry Pie, I’m doing cherry pie-eating contests, the singles ‘Cherry Pie,'” he said. “I could shoot myself in the f**king head for writing that song.”

He later clarified that the producers had caught him on a bad day, but it seems Lane may still have had some resentment for one smash hit almost negating everything else that they ever recorded.

With the recent passing of Lane, hopefully more people will be introduced to Warrant’s music–not just a slice of “Cherry Pie.”

Rest in Peace
Jani Lane
February 1, 1964 ~ August 11, 2011


Top 5 Musicians I would see in Concert, Again

Posted in Concert Reviews, Music, Top 5 by Jacob Zinn on May 5, 2010

Over the last five years, I’ve seen dozens of musicians in concert–some of them twice. Some entertainers just put on a show that you can’t see just once.

I’ve already seen Alice Cooper, Bruce Springsteen, Linkin Park, Mötley Crüe, Rob Zombie and Sum 41 two times each, but here are five bands I would like to see, again.

Top 5 Musicians I would see in Concert, Again

5. blink-182

It took eight years for the Southern California pop-punk trio to come back to Vancouver, but I was sure to get floor tickets when they returned. Mark, Tom and Travis’ long-awaited reunion made for much anticipation among the youthful crowd at the third show of the summer tour. It was one of the more energetic shows I had been to and the fans knew all the words, making it even better. And with all the energy exerted on the floor, the band exerted it back with their performance. To have another chance to catch Travis Barker’s drumsticks would be entirely worth paying the ticket price again.

4. Aerosmith

I was all set to see Aerosmith for the second time last August, but the Canadian tour dates were cancelled after Steven Tyler fell off the stage at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and later checked into rehab for a painkiller addiction. While I got my $200 back, I still would’ve rather seen “The Bad Boys from Boston” from the floor of BC Place than when I saw them in 2006 from the nosebleeds of GM Place. It may be a while as Tyler may be recording a rap album with Timbaland before rejoining his bandmates, but if Aerosmith tours with Tyler as lead singer, I’d spend that $200 again.

3. The White Stripes

The White Stripes’ 2007 Canadian tour (as seen in the 2010 documentary Under Great White Northern Lights) was a tremendous string of dates that honoured some of Jack White III’s ancestry as the band played across the provinces and territories. Furthermore, watching only two band members make such great music outside of the conventional drums, bass, guitar and vocals set up is something to see live. Both of the White’s are talented, between Meg’s smooth drumming and Jack’s ability to sing while alternating between guitar and keyboard. You have to see it for yourself, and do a double-take by buying another ticket.

2. The Rolling Stones

There really isn’t much to be said here. Keith Richards should have died in 1996, and while I saw the Stones on the last North American date of the Bigger Bang Tour, there’s no doubt that I would see Mick, Keith, Charlie and Ronnie again. After all, the question most asked by Stones isn’t “have you seen them before?” It’s “how many times?”

1. AC/DC

Now, I’ve already seen AC/DC twice, but I don’t think twice could ever be enough. Like the Stones, we’re not sure how much longer AC/DC will be around. Lead singer Brian Johnson has talked about retiring next year, and while Angus Young is the youngest member of the group, he’s still 53 and he can’t possibly be a schoolboy that much longer. That said, if Australia’s greatest export were to extend its Black Ice Tour and take the highway to Hell Vancouver again, I would grab the plastic devil horns from their last show and get on the floor once more. I waited five years to see them the first time, so I wouldn’t miss them if the opportunity came up.

Honourable Mentions
Iron Maiden
Kid Rock
Megadeth
Ozzy Osbourne
Rise Against

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