Jacob Zinn :: journalist + photographer

Stuff Your Dad Likes: Power Ballads

Posted in Classic Rock, Heavy Metal, Music, Stuff Your Dad Likes by Jacob Zinn on February 7, 2012
Jacob Zinn can’t give you fatherly advice, but he can eat your girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day candy.

You know it’s coming up soon. That one day per year when you’re either in love and affectionate or you’re lonely and miserable: Valentine’s Day.

With February the 14th approaching, couples young and old are giving each other flowers, planning romantic evenings and buying lubricant by the bottle. While you might be courting someone with chocolate and roses, your dad may’ve courted your mom with power ballads.

Extreme’s “More Than Words”. Mötley Crüe’s “Home Sweet Home”. Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”. The sole purpose of these songs was to get into women’s pants. Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” may be the sappiest, most cliché power ballad of the era, but it opened a lot of… opportunities.

There’s a good chance you might have been conceived to one of these songs.

However, odds are your dad had better taste in power ballads than the hair metal ones. Aerosmith’s “What It Takes” or “Angel” might’ve been rotating on his record player.

Or maybe he was more upfront with sexually explicit and implicit songs like Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” or AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”. Perhaps he traded Warrant’s “Heaven” for a slice of that sweet “Cherry Pie”. (Oh yeah!)

Either way, power ballads got him laid. He may not like power ballads, but the down-tempo, three-chord, lyricized high school love notes were saturated with just enough passion to bring star-crossed lovers together. And if your parents got married in the late ‘80s, you can bet someone requested “I’ll Be There for You” by Bon Jovi at their wedding.

Now that power ballads are often only played as joke songs at weddings and karaoke nights, they’re no longer the genre of choice for bedding mates.

But your dad doesn’t know that. If he digs out his crate of vinyl records from the basement, it might be to set the tone of the evening.

Whether or not you have a date on Valentine’s Day, I highly suggest that you make plans to go out and stay out past curfew until you’re certain both of your parents are asleep. You’ll thank me later.


HEAVY Rotation: Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”

Posted in Heavy Metal, HEAVY Rotation, Music, Obituaries by Jacob Zinn on August 19, 2011

To most, Warrant is a one-hit wonder like so many ‘80s Sunset Strip glam bands, but despite other hit singles, their innuendo-riddled “Cherry Pie” is the song the band will most be remembered for.

As the story goes, lead singer Jani Lane received a phone call from Columbia Records president Don Ienner leading up to the release of their then-untitled sophomore album. Ienner wanted a rock anthem a la Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator” to be on the record–something that would get copious amounts of radio airplay.

Within fifteen minutes, Lane had written the lyrics to Warrant’s most well-known single–on a pizza box. The song peaked at number 10 on the Billboard Charts and the album of the same name went double-platinum.

But with mainstream success came accusations of selling out. That three-and-a-half minute song overhauled the marketing of their second album and overshadowed other singles like “Heaven” and “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.”

I could shoot myself in the f**king head for writing that song.

Jani Lane
VH1’s HEAVY (2006)

Members of the band didn’t even think it was their best music. In an interview with the VH1 rock doc, HEAVY: The Story of Metal, Lane expressed deep regret for penning the track and giving it to Columbia.

“All of a sudden, the album’s called Cherry Pie, the record’s called Cherry Pie, I’m doing cherry pie-eating contests, the singles ‘Cherry Pie,'” he said. “I could shoot myself in the f**king head for writing that song.”

He later clarified that the producers had caught him on a bad day, but it seems Lane may still have had some resentment for one smash hit almost negating everything else that they ever recorded.

With the recent passing of Lane, hopefully more people will be introduced to Warrant’s music–not just a slice of “Cherry Pie.”

Rest in Peace
Jani Lane
February 1, 1964 ~ August 11, 2011